I did it! My first day of Ripped Level 4 this morning, and you know what? I LOVED it!! It really showed me how far I've come since the first week because I was able to keep up, AND use my 8lb weights for most of it! I typically start with 5's and slowly move up to 8's throughout the week with each level. By the end of my time on each level, I'm doing all of it with 8's. In level 3, I started using 10's for a few of the moves because the 8's weren't challenging anymore.
Now don't get me wrong, level 4 was hard as hell! But I felt so empowered and damn PROUD for being able to stick with Basheera for a lot of it. It really helped that a lot of the moves were yoga moves that had been Jillian-ified. I love yoga, but don't get to do it as often as I like. There was a show on Oxygen at like 4am once upon a time that I loved. It was my absolute favorite yoga ever because it wasn't "new age-y" and Steve Ross, the yogi, didn't take himself too seriously. The music was FUN, and it was a blast. Unfortunately, that show's been cancelled and I've never found any yoga class or dvd like it since. Anyway, it made me happy to see some yoga in level 4.
Speaking of yoga, I mentioned before that I tend to lay there dead at the end whenever I do Ripped because that's always my favorite part of yoga. Well, she incorporated that into level 4, and gave the best inspirational speech during that time. I don't remember exactly what she said, but it was about being proud of coming this far, and taking the time for yourself. Do it for you. Be the best you, and don't let the negative thoughts win. It brought up every bad emotion and thought I've felt along the way these past 4 weeks, and was exactly what I needed to hear. Jillian made me cry during her speech, but it was such a good cleansing cry. To just let go.
I CAN do this! I WILL reach my goals! And I WILL NOT sabotage myself!