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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Head Games

So I never did run yesterday. It was the first time in 3 weeks that I didn't run according to plan. I ended up stuffing my face yesterday too. I don't know what was going on, but I just felt defeated. In a funk. And I let it get the best of me. My head was full of negative self thoughts, and food seemed to be the answer. I didn't have a huge binge day, but I definitely ate stuff I shouldn't have. A big bowl of Frosted Flakes, a handful of Sour Punch Straws, McD's cheeseburger and the rest of the kids' chicken mcnuggets (4 of them)... I ate all day before thinking.

BUT! Looking back at yesterday, I did let some positive thoughts whisper to me even though I didn't hear her much.

**Cora had gymnastics right before school started, so we went to McD's to grab lunch on the way to school. Instead of getting my usual Big Mac combo (super-sized) or 2 cheeseburgers combo, I just got 1 cheeseburger. No fries, no soda. I did eat some of the girls' fries, but not many, and I ended up eating their remaining 4 nuggets, but it could've been much worse.

**After dropping the girls off at preschool, I met a friend for a little shopping at Sephora and then I went with her to Panera Bread. Since I'd already had McDonald's, I stuck to water. I was SO TEMPTED to eat another lunch since my McD's wasn't completely filling, but I knew I'd feel stuffed and sick and gross if I did order something. But mostly, I'd already spent more than I'd planned at Sephora, so I felt guilty buying more food when I'd already gone to McD's.

**When I bought the sour punch straws, I also bought a Snickers bar, but I didn't eat it, and I threw away the rest of the straw package away after I ate 4 or 5 of them.

**I went to Great Harvest Bread Co. and bought a loaf of their high fiber bread, and a loaf of roasted garlic cheddar bread. They gave me a sample slice of the garlic one, and instead of eating half the loaf at home, I was satisfied with just the one slice.

**After Great Harvest, I went to the liquor store and bought a box o' wine. My husband isn't much of a drinker, so box wine is great for me because I don't feel like I have to drink the whole bottle or end up wasting it. Last night, I didn't have any of it since I'd had enough to eat. It was the first time since I got hardcore on weightloss that I'd bought any alcohol. I did have a beer last week, and boy did I feel it!


So today is a new day, and I'm back on track. Writing out the things I did RIGHT yesterday really helped me put it in perspective, and made me refocus. I'm a "glass is half-full" kinda girl, so instead of letting my bad choices beat me down, I'm going to focus on the positive.

I turned my defeatist attitude around this morning, and got in a great early morning run. I happened to wake up at 5:30 this morning, so rather than go back to sleep, I made myself get up and go for a run. My penance for not running yesterday was to add 2 miles to my scheduled 3 today, so I ran 5 miles instead. In 1:01:46. My best outdoor time yet!! It was exactly what I needed to start today off right, and get my head back in the game. Let's do this, bitches!



5 comments:

  1. 1. I love your positive mind. I try to think the same way but it's friggin hard. I ate 4 cupcakes yesterday, its hard to find the positive in THAT! 2. How do you get up and run so early? Its not the getting up that's hard for me it's that I feel like my body doesnt work or something. Do you drink coffee? 3. I am seriously impressed that you added 2 miles to your run and actually did it. 4. I got through my 6 mile run because i kept telling myself I'd have a rest day afterward and I could drink my wine when I got home! ha, whatever it takes right?!!

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    1. Exactly, girl. Whatever it takes! No, I don't drink coffee unless it's a syrup/milk/whipped cream loaded frappuccino, so I've been staying far away from it right now. For me, actually getting out of bed is the hardest part. Once I'm up, I get dressed right away before my mind fully wakes up. By the time I'm really awake, I'm dressed and I might as well go for my run. :) I'd love to be a morning person and get all my runs in super early, but I'm so not. I just happened to wake up today, so I forced myself to get out of bed. Most of my weekday runs happen on the gym treadmill.

      Don't let the 4 cupcakes ruin all your hard work! How was the rest of your day? Did you drink a lot of water? I bet you made some good choices throughout the day despite the 4 cupcakes. Focus on those. :) It really helped me to write out a list, and see it in black and white.

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  2. Way to push yourself to make up for the day before! I love the bright side of each of the situations you talked about! Kudos to you!! I am so impressed by your motivation and determination! Love the red hair! And I hope things with your daughter get easier, I have several close friends with autistic children. I know it takes a pretty special mom (and dad) to have the patience, and I just want you to know that I think you are incredible to be doing this 13.1 and weight loss on top of everything else in your life! Hold your head high Brandi! You are amazing!

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    1. Thanks, Alisha! We've come a long way in the past year, and we're in a much better place than when she was first diagnosed. Some days are definitely better than others, but we're very fortunate that she's on the low end of the spectrum. It could be so much harder!

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  3. Wow - up at 5:30am for a 5 mile run! You go girl! My 2 year old got me up at 6:30am and I am dragging. :( Anyway, visiting from Mama Laughlin's Fit Camp. Looking forward to following your journey! :)

    http://www.hookedfromhello.blogspot.com

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